STORMY WEATHER
by madmindzoe
Summary: The first SNK fic I wrote. So, I'm not really sure if the characters are developed right or I was fishing everything out from how I perceived them. Not overly romantic but can be seen that way. Levihan Fic.


STORMY WEATHER

I really wasn't the type to be frightened of stormy weather. On most occasions, I actually welcome it. The cold air and the rhythmic tapping of the rain soothes me, calms me. Somehow, there's a feeling of cleanliness whenever it rains. There's a feeling of forgiveness, something I often silently ask for.

Just so I can enjoy the moment a while longer, I moved my chair back and walked to the window. Pushing the drapes aside, I could actually see the sky. The darkness was incredible. Rods of lightning literally sliced through the shady firmament, lighting up that area on which it left its wake. Thunder rolled as if a whole row of bowling pins were being smashed in one strike. And rain splattered like giant teardrops on my window. I couldn't help but be amazed at what I'm looking at. It was just so uncanny, so unbelievable, so incredibly peaceful to my eyes.

And then… his face popped up in my mind.

If he were outside, I bet he would be having a fit right now. Unlike me, he never liked rain. In fact, he abhorred it. He was such a neurotic clean-freak that the sight of mud makes him vomit bile. I smiled at that thought. As if on cue, memories came flooding my mind. Suddenly, I started remembering all those times when he would scrub himself clean every after mission and those times when he would literally drag me by the hair just to get me in the shower. I remember how violently he mopped the floors of HQ when he lost his squad just to drown down the pain, the tears, the regrets, and the longing for them to come back. I remember how he gently cleaned my burns when I got back looking like hell.

I remember. I memorized all of it. Every single detail.

Thunder roared and lightning glittered brightly in the sky. The rain's rhythm grew heavier, louder.

Suddenly, I could see the raindrops right in front of me. It blurred my vision. I could feel the thunder hammering through my chest wall, as if trying to break through the bony cage. Then, I felt the lightning pierce through my gut, making me lose a bit of balance, making me hold onto the window edge, gripping it until my knuckles turn white.

I felt like dying. I felt as if the breath of life is literally leaving my body. I released my grip and covered my mouth with both my hands as I sank down to the floor. I tried to control my tremors by shutting my eyes. However, I ended up shaking even more as more memories flood through my mind.

More memories of him.

"_You're sending him to his death, Erwin! You can't do that!" _

"_I know what I'm doing, Hanji. He knows the risks and he agreed nonetheless."_

"_He wouldn't disagree with you. You know that! And you're taking advantage of that piece of shit attitude of his over authority. He will die, Erwin. He will die if you send him out. Damn it all, why don't you just send me!?"_

"_You are not fit for an expedition. Hanji -"_

"_So is Levi!"_

"_I've made my decision. He sets out tomorrow morning with a new squad."_

My head hurts from trying to control the tears. My chest hurts from trying to control my breathing. My heart hurts because one of the most important people in my life is lying on a worn-out bed, bleeding from the head and the gut, fighting for his life.

Fighting for his life… Humanity's strongest soldier is fighting the greatest battle in his fucked up career and he's losing. He is losing. And I'm too afraid to be even by his side. Too afraid to lose with him, too afraid to lose him.

"Squad Leader?" I sucked in a sob. I didn't notice the door opened nor did I hear the knock that came before it. Hastily, I wiped my face with the back of my palm and tried, and failed, in composing myself.

"Yeah? What is it? I, uh, lost my glasses here on the floor. Just trying to get it back. What is it, Moblit? I hope you don't mind reporting to an empty chair." I said, trying to act normal, cheerful and less undignified.

"It's the Lance Corporal, squad leader."

The statement made me freeze. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even think. I waited and waited and waited. It was as if I'm waiting for the next second but the next second doesn't seem to come. Growing impatient and getting tired of this shitty pain in my chest, I growled at my assistant.

"Just tell me the fucking news, Moblit, and be fucking done with it!"

There was silence. This time, I was breathing heavily and my body felt as if the entire HQ just fell on top of it. I was still crouching on the floor. I don't want to face my assistant, dreading the news that he came with.

"Moblit?" I asked.

"Uhm… I already said the news, Squad Leader. Didn't you hear me?" the man replied, sheepishly.

"I said, the Lance Corporal is looking for you. He's awake now."

I ran. I didn't even realize that I bolted from the floor, shoved past my worried assistant and dashed to the midget's bunk. I barged through the door and there I saw a sight that made my knees buckle, my eyes sting, and my heart ache.

He was sitting on his bed, a bandage wrapped around his head and torso, and a black coat draped around his shoulders. He looked shorter than he already is and really beaten up. Erwin was sitting on a low chair beside his bed, looking relieved. Mike, despite the missing leg, stood at the corner, leaning on the wall and cane, smiled slightly.

I moved my gaze to him again. He was staring straight at me. I could see his eyes flicker. I could see his chest rise and fall as he breathed normally.

Then, he spoke, raspy and low, like a whisper.

"Oi, shitty glasses."

And that was all I could take. I rushed to him and I broke. I cried like hell and most probably embarrassed myself in front of my comrade-at-arms and commander, but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his torso, avoiding the injuries as much as I could, and sobbed like a baby. My cries probably echoed through the entire HQ.

"I'm alive, four-eyes. I'm okay. I'm okay," he said, brushing my hair with his fingers. He pulled me up on the bed and pulled me closer. He tugged on my chin so I can look at him. So I did.

My vision was already blurred from the tears. It got even hazier when he removed my glasses and started wiping my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I'm okay now, Hanji. Stop crying now. I'm back. I'm home." He said, planting a chaste kiss on my forehead.

All of a sudden, I felt as if the rains just stopped. The storm has finally left. I felt content. I felt happy. I felt complete. Finally.

- owari-


End file.
